#BtB12: The Reasons Why

She Writes This
3 min readJun 14, 2021


Do we need a reason to break up? Yes, we do. If we don’t, then why break up. What kind of reason is acceptable enough for the breakup? I’ll put my opinions down.

First, if she/he drifts us away from God. We need to check our relationship with God. If we’re shifting away or drifting away from God, there must be something wrong with our romantic relationship.

God is God. She/he is human. We can never really start a healthy horizontal relationship if we don’t have a healthy vertical relationship. Our relationship with God does define our relationship with humans.

Put God first in our life. We cannot put humans first, because if we do, we are idolizing them. Here are some signs when we start idolizing someone:

  • We use our mind to think about her/him 24/7, we forget to think about God’s will that can be fulfilled in our life.
  • We think we can’t live without her/him. This is a lie. The fact is when we think we can’t live without her/him, we really can live without her/him, we just don’t want to be alone.
  • We ask her/his opinion about something before we ask God. The first thing we should do, when we don’t know what to do, is asking Him and bringing all our problems in prayer.
  • We spend hours talking with her/him but only spend few minutes praying.
  • We use our full energy to serve her/him, but only give little energy for God.

God’s presence in our relationship is important. Once she/he tries to make herself/himself a little god, beware, that’s the moment we should leave. This sounds rude, I know. We can give her/him a little chance to repent and pursue a close relationship with God. We can pray for her/him, but we can’t force her/him to change. It’s God’s sovereignty.

Second, if we can’t grow and do our calling from God. We are called to be God’s people who work for His glory.

God created us for His glory and purpose. God does have something to do with our life. Yes, He calls us to do something. A mature person is a person who knows God’s calling in her/his life.

If we’re mature enough, we know what to do in our life. We shouldn’t let any blocks get in our way. She/he may be that block. If she/he doesn’t like our job, calling, or vision, maybe she/he is not the one. If she/he doesn’t support the things we do, maybe someday she/he is going to stop us from doing God’s work.

Find the one whom we can grow and do God’s calling together.

Third, if our parents or our inner circle people give the ‘no’ signs.

God calls us to live in a community. Our parents are God’s representatives. They took care of us since we were kids. They always want the best for us. In this world, most parents will do anything for their kids. The bond between parents and kids is never broken. They know and love their kids. Parents were given such a great sense of the good and bad spouse for their kids. If they think, their soon-to-be-daughther/son is not good enough, they will give a sign.

But, we need to recheck why they give that sign. We need to know the reason why they say no. If the reason is based on the Biblical principle, we should learn to know and submit. If it doesn’t, we’d better have a conversation with them and explain what we think.

Our inner circle, our friends, know our personality too. They are given by God to stay by our side. Let me define what stay means here. Stay means they are watching, observing, supporting, and evaluating our life. We’d better bring our girlfriend/boyfriend to a community. Let them give their opinions about him/her whether it’s good or bad. Listen to them. They may be right. The principle is still the same. Recheck what they say with the Biblical principle.

Those reasons above may not mention all the reasons why. May all the important principles of the reasons why we break up stays in our mind.

Lastly, before making any decision, please pray. Wait for His word and guidance in our relationship. Should we break up? Should we forgive? Should we give it a chance?

Our breakup may be painful at the moment. Trust in Him. He’s protecting us. He’s processing us to manage our pain. He’s preparing us to be ready in the future.

Blessed to be blessings!